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A Cavalcade of
Talent
Part of Concierge Travel’s cavalcade of
talent, Maissie is also known as
Johnathon, who - in another galaxy, far,
far away - is a British bobby (as in
policeman...). As Maissie, however, s/he
was the Captain’s Consort, a riotously,
rubber-faced amalgam of Ab Fab Patsy and
every British sitcom battle-ax - and it
was a measure of Captain Jurgen Mueller-Cyran’s
good humor (as well as his years of
nautical experience) that he, and the
entire crew, indulged Maissie’s daily
sexual shenanigans.
The ribald spirit of piratical jollity
was maintained throughout the
seven-night cruise, thanks to an
assortment of Concierge Travel
characters such as Emmy-award-winning
Chi Chi Rones who brilliantly channeled
Judy Garland at her legendary Carnegie
Hall concert, as well as Kitty Kelly, a
limber comic with the mimetic chops of
Martha Raye and Red Skelton who did a
mean SNL "Sisters" act with forks
instead of doll hands.
In short, Gilligan’s Island had nothing
on this crew of crazies.
Parties included the first-night,
defense-lowering Underwear Party, and an
Eighties tea dance, noteworthy for a
surfeit of egregious fashion faux pas,
as well as an elaborate Carnivale party
held on Fat Tuesday as the Star Flyer
sailed from Panama. This being a
Houston-based company, there was also a
Cowboys Party, with an entire deck full
of two-steppin’ cowpokes and rodeo boys
- and the truly tragic sight of Miss
Kitty Kelly in a corset and little else.
Armstrong Took
the Boys Nightly to Church - to Sing
"Pussy"
And there was also Amy & Freddy.
Every second night, the wildly-popular
and well-loved duo of Amy Armstrong and
Freddy Allen entertained a packed piano
bar of show queens and sing-a-long
chorus boys who knew nearly every lyric
(as well as every little inside
reference, such as "the monkey who peed
on me" allusion and the Crochetta doll
jokes about the dolly who travels the
world with her two homo owners).
This award-winning, Chicago-based duo
has performed around the world on no
less than 44 cruises - and all of them
gay. As Armstrong says, the gays are her
people - and to partake in an evening
with the deep-throated, soulful singer
and her exemplary accompanist is to feel
the sense of family that exemplifies a
Concierge Travel cruise. Imagine, for
example, an entire shipload of gleeful
gays singing along to every favorite
sitcom theme of the Eighties. Or
deliriously shouting out the lyric,
"Pussy." Or holding its collective
breath as Ms. Armstrong breathed new
pathos into the John Prine/Bette Midler
classic "Hello In There."
As ribald and quick-witted as Sophie
Tucker, with a powerhouse voice that
evokes Aretha, Armstrong took the boys
nightly to a church where the only sin
was not feeling the joy generated by
such a loving relationship between
performer and audience. And when
Armstrong announced that she and Allen
had been invited to join Concierge
Travel’s Greek Isles & Turkey cruise,
the resultant cheer was cacophonous.
Summer Camp
Redux
One of the ancillary benefits of booking
a Concierge Travel cruise is knowing
that 20% of net travel revenue is
donated annually to LGBT non-profit,
service organizations. In 2009,
Concierge Travel donated more than
$50,000 - and on this cruise alone, more
than $40,000 was raised for Human Rights
Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBT
civil rights organization, for which
Concierge Travel is a Bronze National
Partner.
For many patrons of Concierge Travel,
this cruise on the Star Flyer was like a
family reunion - or a return to the best
summer camp of your youth (the one where
your lust for your camp counselor was
finally rewarded late one night...).
It’s, therefore, not surprising to
discover that many of Concierge Travel’s
clientele are return customers - and not
just because of the gifts that arrived
nightly in the stateroom (and no, we’re
not talking about towel animals - or,
alas, any of the comely crew
members...).
Each day, a small gift lay waiting on
the bed: Costa Rican coffee, Mardi Gras
masks, leather bracelets, sailor hats,
wood carvings, rubber duckies - as well
as chocolate kisses on the pillows. It
was this attention to detail and
thoughtfulness that kept everyone
smiling as they sank into sleep - before
another day at sea with Concierge
Travel.
Book a cruise with Concierge Travel -
and you’ll gain a whole new perspective
on family.
WHAT TO SEE IN
COSTA RICA:
Manuel Antonio National Park:
Established in 1972, this island park,
the smallest in Costa Rica, is an
idyllic refuge for 109 species of
mammals, including the two- and
three-toed sloth, the raccoon, the
capuchin monkey, the raccoon, the
white-faced monkey, the howler monkey,
as well as numerous iguanas, lizards,
and multi-hued insects, and more than
184 species of birds. Hire Mario Brenes,
a guide from Costa Rica Jade Tours - and
you’ll better understand why this park
is the most visited park in Costa Rica.
Apart from the flora and fauna, there
are two pristine, white sand beaches at
Manuel Antonio, lined with lush forest.
This is where you sink into a reverie
about leaving behind your life in the
States and settling full-time into Costa
Rica’s sylvan charms.
LINK:
Manuel Antonio National Park
Costa Rica Jade Tours: To put it simply,
Mario Brenes is a Costa Rican treasure.
With ten years of experience as a
naturalist guide, Mario knows an
incredible amount about Costa Rican
flora and fauna - and to walk with him
through Manuel Antonio National Park is
to see a whole new world that might
otherwise go unnoticed by untrained
eyes. Not only intelligent and
well-educated, Mario is passionate about
the natural world and its conservation -
and to spend an afternoon with him and
his Swarovski telescope is to be closer
to an Edenic world, unspoiled by Homo
sapiens.
LINK:
Costa Rica Jade Tours
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