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Lincoln Road Mall, Miami Beach, Fl
by Mark Thompson & Robert Doyle
February 29, 2008    photo-album Bookmark and Share
Given the contretemps (and ultimate cover-up) over at the Sagamore Hotel about Stanley Tunick’s group nudes, it was a good thing there weren’t any Republican congressmen with overly-delicate sensibilities walking near Euclid Circle this past Friday evening as the Winter Party Festival Runway, sponsored by aussiebum, got underway on Lincoln Road.  Those randy aussiebum boyz, and their handlers, would have sent those Republican congressmen racing back to Idaho—or more likely, scrambling for the nearest airport bathroom stalls. 

Before the male titillation, however, there was the requisite female swimsuit competition—as in girls with real hair, coiffed and dressed in Red Carter’s latest line, and resembling a Slim Aarons monograph come to life.  We’re talking gold lamé heels (no doubt, meant for climbing sand dunes) married to flamingo pink and turquoise.  Amidst the hauteur, there was a bit of Esther Williams’s playfulness—for Miami Beach glam has always involved the ability to laugh at its own outré tendencies. 

Or as the sultry chanteuse Nicole Henry said by way of introducing her version of “Cheek to Cheek,” “Dancing is a celebration of life,” which was something Republican congressmen might do well to remember.  Because while the Winter Party Festival is many things to many people, it’s good to remember that it all started with a dance in the sand. 

And with that thought, the aussiebum boyz were off and preening, posing for the paparazzi in aussiebum’s aptly-named Titanium and Flaunt collections.  “Beautiful Day,” indeed—as the deejay had it, before segueing into “Southern Man,” an interesting choice given that only the most confident Southern boys in the United States would be caught beachfront in these aussiebums.  We’re talking up front and center, with a soupcon of “Velvet Goldmine.”  Really, no one knows better than the Ozzies how to package their junk.  And why not showcase—for as one aussiebum handler had it as she undressed a willing and eager audience participant, “We’re here for a good time, not a long time.”  Amen to that—and also to that aussiebum Wonderjock crotch-enhancer.
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